


Through the Night

by jiandgyu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Jihoon is straight?, M/M, Mingyu is angsty, semi-fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 12:01:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14894264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiandgyu/pseuds/jiandgyu
Summary: In the bus stop, with just the two of them, and the rain serving as a wall from the rest of the world, Mingyu felt as if the unreachable can possibly be reached after all.





	Through the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Back here to give my humble contribution to the JiGyu tag. This maybe familiar to some as I have posted the first part months ago as a drabble under the title "For the Fickle". This is (more or less) the full story, which I decided to finally finish and post today. This was not beta'ed so all grammar and spelling errors are mine. Do leave a comment if you want! I'd like to hear what you think.

Rain pours steadily, the wind sweeping droplets into the bus stop where two boys are waiting.

Jihoon is looking over the highway, the way the rain makes the city lights brighter but unclear at the same time. Mingyu knows that he hates the rain, hates how the cold water soaks one’s shoes and hair and clothing and makes everything wet and heavy, but right now he doesn’t seem to care; he looks happy and light for the first time in a while.

Mingyu stares at Jihoon, at the way the red and yellow light from vehicles reflect on his face, and the droplets of rain forming at the ends of his brown fringe, a faint smile on his lips. He is beautiful, as always, and Mingyu’s heart gives a familiar ache. Right now, in this bus stop, with just the two of them and the pouring rain effectively closing them off from the rest of the world, Jihoon feels so close and so unattainable at the same time.

Jihoon turns his head to Mingyu as if he sensed his stare, the droplets on his hair falling, their eyes meeting. Jihoon smiles, his eyes crinkling, and Mingyu falls in love all over again.

Maybe it is the alcohol in their blood, but Mingyu feels as if everything is at extremes, Jihoon looking a hundredfold more gorgeous than usual, and he feels a strong urge to reach out and touch him. Before he knew it he felt Jihoon’s soft, warm cheek under his palm. His hand can almost cover most of Jihoon’s face. Jihoon looks surprised by the action but didn’t back away, just looking at Mingyu as if he saw something he had not noticed before.

Mingyu too is surprised; it is certainly the alcohol that made him do what he did, crossing limits that a sober version of him normally wouldn’t cross. He wishes he has more control of his slightly drunk self, at the same time he wishes that he had drank more to get more confidence for what he knows he is about to do. It is crazy, but he had always been crazy about Jihoon.

It is slow and fast at the same time, and a thousand times better than he had imagined. He raises his other hand to cup Jihoon’s right cheek, bordering his angelic face with tan skin. Jihoon’s eyes widen for a second, but Mingyu’s sole focus is his lips, and as he swoops down to close the gap between them he thought he saw Jihoon close his eyes; and their lips meet.

In the bus stop, with just the two of them, and the rain serving as a wall from the rest of the world, Mingyu felt as if the unreachable can possibly be reached after all.

::

It was raining hard, and as usual Jihoon had forgotten to bring an umbrella. So there was Mingyu, walking towards the bus stop with a large umbrella, where Jihoon was waiting. He had scolded Jihoon for always forgetting to bring one many times before, had even sworn not to do it for the older guy, but one text from Jihoon and here he was.

He is Jihoon’s trained dog, their friends have always said. It seemed like he was inclined to always give in to Jihoon’s requests. Truthfully, he has always been a person who takes good care of all his friends, not just Jihoon. Jihoon, who has a domineering personality, seem to relish in bossing Mingyu around from time to time, his only reason being that Mingyu is his favorite dongsaeng. And Mingyu didn’t mind, simply because it’s Jihoon.

He stopped across the bus stop, waiting for the green light, and immediately spotted Jihoon from among the crowd huddled for shelter. He is focused on his phone, his smile wide.

The light changed, and pedestrians in raincoats and umbrellas crossed the street. Mingyu stepped beside Jihoon.

"Hey."

He looked up from his phone to Mingyu. "Oh, hey."

"Let's go." Jihoon stepped closer to Mingyu under the umbrella, and they set off into the rain. Mingyu adjusted his steps to Jihoon's smaller ones and tilted the umbrella slightly into Jihoon's side.

It was when they were near the apartment block where their friends were waiting that Jihoon had spoken. 

"Mingyu, I want to tell you something."

They face each other, much closer under the umbrella. There was a nervous smile on Jihoon’s lips; rare for someone who was always self-assured.

"What is it?"

"I..." his voice trailed off, before continuing in a rush. "I just want to tell you first before everyone else." He looked sideways, his expression almost shy. "I have a girlfriend now."

Mingyu felt his throat go dry, his face numbed. Many questions ran through his mind, the words almost jumbled, but foremost was the question why such words from Jihoon could affect him like this. He's also painfully aware that Jihoon was staring at him, gauging his reaction, and he tried to keep his expression neutral in the least, hoped that it did not show the confusion and some unfamilar emotions inside him.

"Who is she?" His voice cracked and he winced at the result; it was the wrong kind of eager, leaning more towards desperation than excitement.

"You know Hyesoo, right?"

Mingyu nodded, recalling long, silky hair, a slender body, the shy glances of pixie-like eyes towards their direction during lunch and in the library, and right then it all made sense.

"Yeah..."

"Well, we began talking a couple of weeks ago, and we just started going out today." Jihoon smiled. It was a terrible feeling, not being able to be happy for him.

"Congratulations. I'm... " happy for you, is what he intended to say, but he wasn't, and out of all times, he couldn't bring himself to say the lie. "I hope you're truly happy."

Jihoon nodded, his eyes bored into Mingyu's, and Mingyu was so sure a few moments more would break him.

"Listen, I... I forgot to buy something at the convenience store. Please go ahead, I'll be there later."

He handed the umbrella to Jihoon, not even looking any second longer at the other, and ran.

The rain soaked him from his hair down to his shoes, the chill seeped to his core. His vision was blurred by the rain and tears, but things became clearer.

Mingyu had his heart broken first before he realized that he was in love.

::

It had been months since that day when Mingyu realized too late that he’s in love. Since then he had noticed that Jihoon and Hyesoo were practically together almost everywhere outside their classes. The sight of the two together was a painful sight for him, and so he would always avoid being in a place with them. The only times he got to be with Jihoon was when he hung out with their group of friends without Hyesoo, but that too became less and less of an occurrence until such time that he barely gets to see him.

Mingyu was very aware of the gap between him and Jihoon, and that he himself contributed to it. Jihoon, on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice, and still greeted Mingyu every time they happen to pass by each other around. It hurts Mingyu that Jihoon’s relationship with Hyesoo, and his feelings for him, was affecting their friendship, but it pains him the most that Jihoon doesn’t notice.

Something must have changed today when Mingyu found Jihoon outside of his part-time job at a convenience store.

“Hey Minggu.”

“Hey, hyung. What are you doing here?” Mingyu could not hide his surprise and hoped that he didn’t sound unkind.

“I was waiting for you.”

“Why?”

“I was wondering if I can hang out with my favorite dongsaeng?”

Though Mingyu has mixed feelings for the endearment, he couldn’t resist Jihoon’s smile. “Sure, hyung. What do you want to do?”

“Let’s eat grilled pork. My treat. Let’s go?”

Mingyu nodded and followed Jihoon to their favorite samgyeopsal place, though still unsure as to what is happening.

They arrived at the place and Jihoon ordered their usual favorites, plus several bottles of soju. Jihoon asked if he’ll drink with him, as if he didn’t mind drinking all the alcohol himself if Mingyu won’t. Mingyu knew Jihoon can hold his alcohol well, but he agreed to share anyway just to reduce Jihoon’s.

Mingyu found the courage to ask after having his first shot, while Jihoon was grilling the pork.

“Why do you want to see me?” He hoped that did not come off as confrontational as it sounded in his ears.

“I don’t know, it’s been so long since I hung out with you guys.” He looked at Mingyu through the smoke of the grill. “But even longer since I’ve talked to you.”

“Yeah, I… I’ve been quite busy with studies and my part-time job.”

Jihoon shrugged. “No, it’s my fault. I’ve been so focused on Hyesoo that I set aside spending time with my friends.”

Mingyu contemplated at the mention of the girl he’s actually jealous of.

“How is she?”

“She… I.. We broke up.” Jihoon looked up to him, and his puffy eyelids and the crease between his brows were suddenly very obvious.

Mingyu didn’t know that three words could give him so much conflicted emotions; he felt so sad to see Jihoon so heartbroken, and yet a part of him happy with the news, and he felt terrible for feeling so.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I really liked her, but we both agreed that we’re not really for each other.” He put down the tongs and drank soju that Mingyu has poured for him.

“How so?”

“We realized that we’re making our world too small by focusing too much on each other, and it’s not good for each of us. I guess both of us like the idea of a relationship more than we like each other.”

Mingyu nodded like he understood, even though he barely does. After all, he likes Jihoon so much, but has long since accepted that the possibility of a relationship is next to none. Thinking of that being even possible squeezes the air out of his lungs.

“I’ve been missing out on a lot of things, but I guess now you will all see me again more often.” Jihoon smiled, and Mingyu was glad that for seeing genuine happiness in that smile. “So how are you? Have you met anyone new lately?”

“No, hyung.” Jihoon’s silence made him think he needs to add more to that. “I’m not really interested in meeting anyone.”

“Ah. I guess you’re too busy to meet with anyone. That’s okay, don’t rush things; just let it come when it comes. I’ve just learned my lesson on that after all.” Jihoon laughed, and Mingyu laughed with him lightly. It came to him at that moment how much he missed this, talking with Jihoon, laughing with him, and just being with him. 

“But you know, if you ever see someone, or if you just like someone, I hope I’d be one of the first person to know.”

Mingyu’s hand shaked and the soju sloshed on his mouth and shirt; he hoped Jihoon haven’t notice. “Of course, hyung.” 

Jihoon patted his head and ruffled his hair, an old gesture that he hadn’t done in months. “Thank you, Minggu.”

::

Their lips linger for a few moments, until the beeping sound that signals the approaching bus comes off in the bus stop. Immediately, as if the sound brought them to their senses, they separated.

There is awkward tension in the air, narrated by the recorded female voice telling them of the next bus and it's route.

"Jihoon," Mingyu speaks first, "I'm sorry."

He chances to look at Jihoon, and what he sees are eyebrows scrunched together and parted lips. He doesn't look angry, not exactly, but it is enough for Mingyu to confirm his fears. He fucked up.

"Hyung, I'm really sorry, I—" didn't meant to. "I can't stop myself."

“What does that mean?” Jihoon’s voice is small but clear and cutting. Mingyu knows he does not refer to what he said, but to what he did.

“Jihoon, I didn’t mean for you to know.” Mingyu can feel the tears prickling the corners of his eyes. “Just… I’m sorry, please forget what happened.”

Jihoon does not look satisfied with that, but they were interrupted by the bus that slows to a stop in front of them, the doors swinging open to let out a few too many passengers.

“Let’s go?” Mingyu looks at Jihoon as if he is pleading for the other to let go, or at least to save whatever he wants to say for another time. Jihoon seems to consider for a moment and nods.

Mingyu lets Jihoon in the bus first, and then waits until the door closes. Jihoon must have realized that Mingyu has not followed him because he hears something similar to Jihoon calling his name, but the bus has moved on and will do so until the next stop.

He sets off in the rain, feeling the regret and sadness soak him.

::

The body heat lent by the alcohol is long gone, and is his drunkenness seems to have been washed away by the rain. As Mingyu walks the last meters to his apartment, he is sober and practically shaking from the cold.

And there, in his doorstep, dripping wet and trembling with his arms crossed, is Jihoon.

“Hyung.”

“Why did you do that?” Jihoon’s eyebrows are furrowed.

Of course, kissing Jihoon is a mistake, and he has the right to be angry. “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you ride in the bus with me? It’s raining hard and it’s freezing cold. Why did you walk home instead?”

“Jihoon, I…” He chooses to avoid the question by asking one back. “But why didn’t you go home?”

“I want to make sure you went home safely, you idiot.” Jihoon snaps, as if that’s the most obvious answer, and the way he’s attempt at looking angry while his shoulders are shaking and his teeth chattering is… endearing. And cute. “And I think we have something to talk about that can’t wait.”

Mingyu turns back to reality. “Hyung, that was…”

“That can wait. Just open your door before we both freeze to death.”

Mingyu hurries to open the door and they both enter, feeling relieved by the heat of the apartment. Mingyu hurries to his closet to and picks up clothes for Jihoon and towels for the both of them.

He gives Jihoon the clothes and towel. “You can go ahead and change in the bathroom. You can also have a hot shower. I’ll just go after you.”

“No, you go first and take that hot shower. You’ve been under the rain for longer than I was.” Jihoon looks like he can’t be convinced otherwise.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll just change in your bedroom, if that’s okay.”

“Of course. Uh, I’ll go ahead.” Mingyu takes his own set of clothes and towel to the bathroom and stands under the shower, relishing the hot water that makes him feel like his blood is running again. It soon ends faster than he thought, and he knows he can’t delay the talk with Jihoon any longer.

He sees Jihoon in his small kitchen, sitting in the counter with a cup of what he smells is coffee in his hand. The legs of Mingyu’s old sweatpants were folded on his ankles several times, and the sleeves of his white shirt goes past Jihoon’s elbows. The way his heart clenches at the sight just confirms that he is in love, and he’s not sure if these feelings are appropriate for the situation.

“I made coffee.” Jihoon gestures at the table. Mingyu comes and picks up the mug.

“Thanks. Did I took that long?”

“Not really.”

They sip their coffee in silence, and Mingyu becomes more anxious as it drags on.

“So,” Jihoon finally speaks. “I know that we’re both kind of drunk. But… the kiss. Does that mean anything? Or was it just a drunken mistake that we should both forget about?”

Mingyu sees the chance, to just brush it off as a drunken mistake as Jihoon said, but the way Jihoon looks at him, says that he deserves nothing less but the truth.

“It’s not… a mistake. Not in that way. I know I shouldn’t have but that kiss… it means I like you.”

“Thank god!” The visible relief that passes on Jihoon’s face puzzles Mingyu.

“Hyung..?”

“I’d seriously hate you if you said we should just forget about that, no homo.” Jihoon gulps the rest of his coffee in one go. “Since when?”

“I’m not sure. But I just realized when you were with… her.”

“That long?” Jihoon looks really surprised and stops to think.

“Yeah. All the time that we haven’t seen each other, it’s not just you being busy with your… relationship, I was also intentionally avoiding you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re in a relationship?”

“So you’re… jealous?” Jihoon looks perplexed, as if the concept is so unrealistic.

“Jealous, sad, can’t stand seeing you with someone else. It sounds very angsty right now, but that’s…” how much I like you. “…yeah.”

Jihoon shakes his head, looking like he can’t believe everything he is hearing. “Wow. I really have no idea.”

“That’s the plan. I didn’t mean to throw this at you while you just broke up with someone, but… that kind of happened.”

Jihoon goes silent for a moment, and Mingyu sees him contemplating. Mingyu thinks this is the part where he turns down Mingyu politely, and he’s choosing his words carefully. He prepares for the worst.

“I didn’t ever think for a moment that you like me, so I’ve never considered this. I’ve never even considered the possibility of not being straight. But when you kissed me, it just felt… right. I’m not saying I like you already in that way, but I feel like I might. So if you want to, I’m willing to give this a try.”

That is not what he expected at all.

Jihoon, his laid-back, confident hyung, looks vulnerable for the second time tonight, laying down his feelings on the table.

“That is if you want to, of course. But we have to go at it real slow, coz I don’t want any of this to go wrong. If you have any problem with that, speak now because once we started this, we go all the way.”

“Jihoon-hyung. Are you sure about this?”

“Of course. So do you want to be my boyfriend or not?”

Mingyu’s heart stops at the mention of boyfriend. “Boyfriend? Whatever happened to taking it slow?” Mingyu smiles, and he’s pleased at seeing Jihoon smile back.

“Like I said, we’re gonna go all the way, so might as well go exclusive. I’ll let you know now that I can be very possessive.”

Wow. Jihoon being possessive. Over him. Mingyu can’t stop grinning widely. “I can’t believe you’re asking me to be your boyfriend.”

“You really have to answer me, Mingyu, or – “

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Mingyu feels satisfaction seeing Jihoon’s face light up with relief after hearing his words.

Jihoon sets down the mug beside him and practically jumps from the counter, closing the distance between him and Mingyu, and pulls Mingyu’s collar for a kiss on the lips. It’s over before Mingyu realized it.

“We’re gonna take things slow, huh.” Mingyu smiles, eyebrows raised.

“Yep, we’re gonna take things slow.” Jihoon smiles back, patting Mingyu’s head and ruffling his slightly wet hair. He starts leaning in again and –

“I guess it’s time to sleep.” Jihoon walks towards Mingyu’s bedroom. Mingyu follows him, dazed.

Jihoon turns at Mingyu. “What are you doing?”

“Uhm, going to the bedroom. Aren’t we gonna sleep?”

“Yeah, so you’re gonna let me sleep in your bed, and you’re gonna sleep on the couch.” Jihoon looks at him, like he doesn’t expect anything otherwise.

“But hyung…” Mingyu whines.

Jihoon smiles at him. “We’re gonna take things slow.” He turns and goes to the bedroom. “Good night Minggu.” He closes the door.

Mingyu realizes then that he’s really, truly whipped. And he doesn’t care, coz he’s really truly happy. Jihoon, someone who he cares for deeply, is willing to give a relationship with him a try. For now, he doesn’t feel worried that Jihoon might change his mind, or decide that he doesn’t like him back after all. For now, he thinks that’s enough, and it is right that they’re taking things slowly –

“Mingyu, you have five seconds before I press the lock.”

“Hyung!”

Mingyu hurries to the door, tripping several times on his way. 

End.


End file.
